Data Science Therapy: I Automated My Job… Excel Ruined Everything!

So you thought you’d lead technological transformation and use innovative technology? That’s a good one! Bow down to the one and only king: Excel.

You've been automating your workflows, modernizing your stack…and somehow, every week, you still end up exporting your results to Excel, the unkillable cockroach of corporate data workflows.

It's 2025. AI writes Shakespearean sonnets, self-driving cars crash less than your Uber driver, and yet, your boss still thinks conditional formatting is innovation.

Welcome. You made it to therapy. That alone deserves applause.

The Trauma

Let's start with the trauma. You were told this job was about innovation. That you'd be driving decision-making with data.

Maybe even ‘leading AI transformation’.

But here you are. Renaming your beautifully styled Plotly graphs as “Steve_Report_v3_final_fix_fixed.xlsx”.

You are styling a seaborn heatmap with the company's exact shade of blue, only to be told: “Can we make it look more…like what Cheryl used to send?”

It's okay to feel angry. Cheryl used Comic Sans. She got promoted.

The Excel Cult

Excel is not a tool. It's a belief system. You can't just present an interactive dashboard and expect them to convert.

No, they must feel the cells under their fingers. They need to click, drag, and ruin your formatting with their bare hands. It's not your fault. You're just trying to help. But you're up against generational trauma…and a spreadsheet from 2006.

Why Python Isn’t Enough (and Never Was)

You thought using Python made you smarter. Better. More efficient. But in this workplace, the real power lies in absolute visual mediocrity.

You're not a data scientist. You're an Excel whisperer. An expensive one. And let's be honest, you've considered quitting and opening a diner with a strict no-spreadsheet policy.

Coping Mechanisms (a.k.a. Lies That Help You Sleep)

Here's what we recommend in this support group: Give them Excel. But lie. Use Python. Use SQL. Automate everything behind the scenes. Then wrap it in a hideous .xlsx file that looks like it was made in a hurry during a fire drill.

You win. They feel comfortable. No one knows the magic underneath. This isn't selling out. It's…sustainable self-preservation.

The “Dashboard Delusion”

Some of you tried to change things. You built dashboards. Visualizations. You said, ‘Look, it's responsive. It updates in real time.’ And what did they do?

They exported it. To. Excel.

This is normal. This is part of the grieving process. It will get better. Slowly. Veeeeery, very slowly.

Playing the Long Game

You want the change? Here's how you do it.

Treat your boss like a toddler learning to color inside the lines. Hold their hand. Literally, if necessary. And even then, they’ll say: ‘I love it. Can you send it to me in Excel?’

You'll die a little. But you'll be fine. We're here for you.

Conclusion

You're not crazy. The system is.

You're not incompetent. You're overqualified for formatting cells.

Your pain is valid. Your skills are real.

Your dashboard was beautiful. So, automate what you can. Export what they want. And use the time you save to do something that actually brings you joy, like screaming into the void.